25 August 2006

Air Travel Instructions

Instructions for air travel year 2006 and possibly beyond:

  • Absolutely no liquids allowed. Better pee before you go through the security check.
  • No lipsticks allowed. You can't fool anyone by putting on makeup, your age and other details are on the passport already.
  • Leave laptops at home. If taken along, laptops have to be in checked-in baggage with no guarantee of being returned when you reach your destination. So much for the nights you spent preparing the presentation for the brand new product.
  • DO NOT PLAY with your cellular phones. The in-flight US marshals don't like kids playing with their cell phones while they are on-duty.
  • If you fit the following profile: teenager or older, male, restless/cannot sit still, like to fiddle with gadgets e.g. cell phone, ipods, camera, etc. that you have all the time, are of Asian origin, and follow a certain religion; just don't travel as you will tend to be a possible cause of flight delays and rigourous questioning/interrogation. Sample questions are: How much did you pay for your iPod? What frequencies does your cellphone use? Does your mp3 player play OGG files, etc.
  • Be Alert and not paranoid about a nervous fellow passengers. Nervousness is not exclusivly demonstrated by "dangerous elements"!

Wishing you a happy and safe journey...


Daniel said...

uuuh, no laptop in cabin, you're sure ???

KDS said...

AFAIK, laptops are still banned from cabin on all flights from Britain to the U.S. and on some from the U.S. to Britain e.g. BA

PS: grr...it has taken me more than 30min to put in a few words in blogger as comments.